When Dandan was talking about Yoav, his eyes would shine. From such a friend who can be told everything. Would tell me that Yoav is the smartest he knows. There are moments in a mother's life when she knows that the soul is connected to the soul. That's how it was that Dandan would return from a meeting with Yoav.
From today Dandan killed Yoav is there for us. When all of a sudden he or I miss you a lot - pick up the phone to each other. When I hear Yoav, I understand exactly what Dan was talking about.
Ronit
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Anniversary of Dan 2019
Dan
About two weeks ago, quite by chance I found a picture that in any other situation would have seemed meaningless to me. A picture of you and Guy, sitting in my room on the messy bed, when you jumped to visit me before enlistment, 20 years ago. I try to remember what we did and what we talked about, and fail. Anyway, I have no idea why I photographed you in the first place.
This picture helps me understand that as time goes on, it does not get any easier. Time is a deceptive thing. The lengthening distance from that terrible day two years ago, does not really help to heal the wound. It just makes us think so, but in fact, it takes all the shared experiences with you, the conversations, the small and big moments, and distances and obscures them. In some cases, they are completely erased from memory.
What will be another 5, 10, 20, 30 years? Scares me to think about it.
I try to think, what meaning do the words I write to you have, and what can I already say to myself, and to all the people who are here today, that we no longer know and feel. Think of Ronit and Ren, who lost a son, Uri, Adi and Dor who lost a brother, and Sasha, Omri and Mika who lost a life partner and a father. I am reluctant to understand and know how to cope and how to proceed from here.
It's been two years and I'm still looking for what I should take with me next. Live once, have to devour the moment, that's right. We are all fragile, everything is temporary, everyone knows that too. But still, beyond the clichés - why you, why now, in the middle of life, when everything was so good, and optimistic, and on the rise.
Maybe somewhere deep inside, within each of us, there is a small, secluded place where the true meaning lies behind this story. For each one the meaning is different, personal, and it draws from us energies with varying frequency and intensity. Meaning you will not only take from us, but also give back. I promise you, I'll keep looking for her, because without her I'll never understand why you went like that. And maybe it's just the search for it that will ultimately help to accept the fact that it's part of what life has to offer us.
And despite all this, the gravity of daily existence pulls us forward, to continue and not stop for a moment. So today we are here, stopping for one moment, but tomorrow we will continue to deal, simply because there is no other choice.
And if you look at us from above, you will surely see how Sasha copes with heroism and determination and does everything to make Omri and Mika better. And indeed I lost you, but I gained a new friend named Dor. Just a pity, that it did not happen in other circumstances.
I wish you were here, Dan. Comfortable on your bed in peace, loving and missing.
Yoav's obituary at Dan's funeral
Dear Dan.
Not so, you were planned to part with the world. It is said, in birthday greetings - what is left to wish a person who has everything? And now, I ask, how can one say goodbye to a human being, who really, has everything?
The day before the terrible disaster, I watched the Roland Garros final and was already waiting to write you something at the end of the game. Unfortunately, the confrontation was one-sided and also ended not as I wanted, so I gave up. I can not stop thinking about it, that I missed one last chance to catch up on each other and hear from you one last time something sarcastic, funny.
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Dan and I met in the seventh grade at the Alumim Brigade, in Ramat Hasharon. There was a great connection between us and we would occasionally catch a conversation, usually around tennis of course, but the real friendship began a few years later. In 10th grade Dan moved to Wingate, and at the same time I saved some money by working at a buffet in the tennis center. Occasionally he practiced there, and stayed to host a company, and so we connected and developed a real, friendly and special bond. We spent hours in long, very personal conversations about everything 16-year-olds talk about at this age.
As is well known, Dan preferred to give up Wingate's framework, and decided that he would spend the next two years of high school at Regal High School in Herzliya.
He quickly connected with a cohesive group of amazing people - Guy, Nir, Oded, Einat and more. On the other hand, while I did not lack friends myself, I really liked the fact that I had a friend "outside the framework" of Ramat-Sharonit and I would spend time with them from time to time, and a lot with Dan.
At some point the key to the habit was to walk through my house after school on the way to training, eat fast, change a word and move on. I'm even pretty sure my mom said more than once, "I bought chickpeas for Hanegbi, whatever."
As much as I liked it when he would call confidently, tell me "I'm coming, warm up the pita," land in my apartment, talk, have some laughs, and then go on with training. Needless to say, I also felt at home with the Hanegbi family, the many times I was there.
Among his many deeds, he would read me songs he had written or just copied for Sasha, after which he began to court vigorously. I appreciated his determination, and hoped that one day he would know his place and find someone in his league.
During the army we tried very hard to keep in touch despite the difficulty. And in any case, the connection between souls is not a function of frequency, but of adjustment. I once even went to visit Dan at Binghamton, the university where he studied for the first two years of his degree. I spent a few days with him and together we went to pick up Sasha, and from there to New York. I saw how his teammates look at him, with admiration. Much has been said about Dan's place on the tennis team and the responsible role he played there, so I will not add much, just saying mine would have seemed so natural that I did not even attach importance to it.
And so, we have seen each other occasionally over the years - in New York and in the country, unfortunately, always just the two of us, we have never been able to bring the two families together, with spouses and children, somehow always something went wrong.
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Dan. Last year, you sent me on WhatsApp a video of Omri skiing from your joint vacation. No peace, no introduction - you just sent the video. Because sometimes, there are things that do not need explanation. It was clear to me what you were trying to tell me. How happy, proud, whole you are with the life you have built, together with Sasha. I sent you back a picture of me from a trip I did that day with my family, and you immediately informed me that you were coming to Israel on Passover and that the children must be brought together. Although we both met, but as mentioned, not with the families, and for that my heart was torn to pieces by hope, which will never come true.
What a total we wanted, two 16-year-olds, to meet after 20 years and show off each other, about his wonderful children, about the personal and small empire that each built in his own way. Watching them from the side, laughing, playing, and growing up before our eyes.
I think of Omri and Mika, and that they will never get to show you their achievements again. Starting first grade, defeating opponents in competitions, falling in love, crying, preying on the world, or just playing games at home, watching TV, living life.
And what am I, if not the same kid who just wants to meet you again. You will not see how much I have improved in tennis, you will not get to know my family, you will not know if the startup I founded was successful or failed, you will not correspond with me anymore on WhatsApp, or you will invite me for sushi when I get to New York.
What are we in this world, if not children who are forced to live adult lives, when all we want are a few moments of pleasure, with the people we love. We want to prove to our admirers that here, too, we are capable of realizing aspirations, conquering hearts and fulfilling dreams.
Your imprint on the world crossed countries, oceans, and cultures. Your presence, dominant in so many private worlds of people, whether among your family members, and those who have spent long periods with you at various stages in your life, together make up the fabric of your much-loved character, by all. You have stood at the center of a multi-armed social network, really, and I sincerely hope that we will know together to be connected forever so that it will stand firm as long as we are all here. For Sasha and for Omri and Mika, who will at least see how their father touched the hearts of so many different people and so many.
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You were always first place, you got them all. Unfortunately, this time too, but prematurely - and certainly not your fault.
I'm not saying goodbye to you, Dan. You are here and now, looking, hearing, present in thoughts and dreams.
I will never forget you. Life will not be the same, but we will all make sure that everything has meaning, and your character will be remembered and immortalized forever.